missed the point of voldemort

Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 4

szaleniec1000 Jul 06, 2014 22:25

The previous chapter ended with an outburst of disembodied dialogue claiming that something or someone unknown was attacking "those girls", who could have been the main cast but could just as easily have been random bystanders. Now for the "resolution". Yes, it's bad.

( Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 4 )

show don't tell, missed the point of voldemort, honourable member, did not do the bloody research, om nom nom, ron is ooc, symbolic flight, draco is ooc, the nudist doth protest too much, pov!fail, the cake is a lie, welsh railway, are you a witch or not, creepiest toddler ever, tractum ex culo, hermione in name only, breast fixation, anticlimax, soapbox, separated by a common language, bad sex, a description would be nice, badfic:hogwarts overexposed, department of redundancy department, conflict be damned, goose of doom, completely nonsexual, thirty contrivance pileup, i can has characterisation, statute schmatute, sexism, disembodied dialogue, harry potter, dialogue is not narration, approved hogwarts exposed dialogue voice, i blame the parents

Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapters 11 (part 3) and 12

szaleniec1000 Jul 02, 2012 22:48

It can be effective to place a chapter break in the middle of the scene ("It wasn't even Voldemort.") but when you do it every time there's something going on it gets very old very fast. Now doing it for the verdict of the hearing, the culmination of a multi-chapter arc, could theoretically have worked. However, we'll soon see that not only didn't ( Read more... )

balance of stupidity, show don't tell, missed the point of voldemort, the mirror of ytidun, did not do the bloody research, moustache twirling, reading the books is a good idea, welsh railway, hogwarts roboticised, metaphor fail, americanisms in the potterverse, mary sue and gary stu, creepiest toddler ever, have i mentioned i hate this fic, le gros tas de merde, plagiarism, wrong word dammit, onion slicing convention, bad sex, department of redundancy department, completely nonsexual, sexism, pointless wittering, puppy-punting patrol, nudity for everyone, disembodied dialogue, harry potter, badfic:hogwarts too exposed, harry the pervert, idiot balls for everyone, singularity of fail, snape is ooc, literally stupid

Hogwarts Exposed Chapter 21 part 1

szaleniec1000 Aug 01, 2011 22:24

LJ is back and so am I. Here we go again.

( Hogwarts Exposed Chapter 21 part 1 )

missed the point of voldemort, badfic:hogwarts exposed, onion slicing convention, a description would be nice, lamarcked ones, conflict be damned, department of redundancy department, expospeak, thirty contrivance pileup, i can has characterisation, pov!fail, reading the books is a good idea, fucking self-awareness how does it work, hogwarts roboticised, godwin, mary sue and gary stu, mione my arse, hermione in name only, nudity for everyone, false humanity, harry potter, harry the pervert, i blame the parents